TOP 10 THINGS TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO KEEP THEM SAFE ONLINE

1.  Never give out personal information (such as name, age, address, phone number, school, town, password, schedule) or fill out questionnaires or any forms online.

           2.  Never meet in person with anyone you have met online.

3.  Do not enter chat rooms.

4.  Do not tell anyone online where you will be or what you will be doing without Mom and/or Dad's permission.

5.  Never respond to or send e-mail to new people you meet online. Talk to your parents first so that they can check it out.

6.  Be careful not to go into a new online area that is going to cost additional money without first getting Mom and/or Dad's permission.

7.  Never send, without Mom and/or Dad's permission, a picture over the Internet or via regular mail to anyone you've met on the Internet.

8.  Don't buy or order products online or give out any credit card information online without Mom and/or Dad's permission.

9.  Never respond to any email or chat conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable. End such an experience by logging off and telling Mom and/or Dad as soon as possible.

10.  Always tell Mom and/or Dad about something you saw, intentionally or unintentionally, that is upsetting.

SEXUAL PREDATOR WARNING SIGNS

Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil advisory board and Dr. Phil's mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:

"The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can't find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance," says Dr. Lawlis. "It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues."

There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you're worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the advisory board and Dr. Phil's mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:"The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can't find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance," says Dr. Lawlis. "It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues." There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you're worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the advisory board and Dr. Phil's mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:"The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can't find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance," says Dr. Lawlis. "It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues." There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you're worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures

A sense of entitlement

Low self-esteem

Need for power and control

Lack of empathy

Inability to form intimate relationships with adults

History of abuse

Troubled childhood

Deviant sexual behavior and attitudes

From the book, Protecting Your Children from Sexual Predators, by Dr. Leigh M. Baker.

 Other Tips on Spotting a Sexual Predator:

• Often offend where they won’t get caught — when they have misdirected people’s attention
• Often married or in relationships
• Offend when the victim is handy
• Not always strangers, often family members, family friends and neighbors
• Most attracted to adults
• Good manipulators (seduction is an integral part)
• Overly self-indulgent
• Arrogant
• Sexualize, objectify women
• Users of various kinds of pornography
• Typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers
• Great helpers — are there to lend a helping hand — prey on people in need, when they can insinuate themselves in your life
• Use stressful and vulnerable situations to get in — they find a need they can fill and they use that to get next to the victim

Common Attributes of Child Molesters:
-- from A Profile of the Child Molester 

• Pedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
• Pedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child's life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
• Pedophiles are professional con artists and are experts at getting children and families to trust them.
• Pedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy. 
  

http://drphil.com/articles/article.266/






TEACH YOUR KIDS ABOUT "STRANGER DANGER"


As scary as it may be, parents need to talk to their kids about people who might want to hurt them. The best way to protect your children is to get them involved in their own protection.

Parents need to be aware of possible predators. Typical signs are: someone who seems too good to be true, who offers extensive help to your family, who knows too much about your kids or kids in general, especially if they don't have children of their own.

Talk to your kids about pedophiles as soon as they can understand what you mean. As early as 3-5 years old, when kids begin to interact with the world, they're subject to being victims.

Tell your child you love them no matter what. Remind them that they can tell you anything and you will still love them with all your heart.

  

Don't be afraid that you're scaring your kids, but don't ask them to deal with adult issues either. Speak to them in age-appropriate language and give them instructions about what to do. They will feel empowered by knowing how to protect themselves. Be careful sharing your own experiences if you were a victim of sexual molestation, for example. Providing too many details and rehashing the tragedy can create a sexually charged environment and be harmful for your children in the long run.

Kids need to know that they have the right to say no, yell, or ask for help. It may contradict what they know about respecting adults, but if they feel threatened, they have permission to make a scene, or to run away to a public place. And they need to know they won't get into trouble if they were wrong. Let them know that no one has the right to hurt them. Teach your child to call you if a stranger arrives when there are no other adults around.

Make sure your kids know what is acceptable behavior, and what is out-of-bounds. Make sure they understand that there are private areas of their bodies that no one else should touch.

Rehearse your child's response to danger. If he/she doesn't practice it, your child really won't really know what to do. Telling your child to yell for help isn't enough. In the face of danger, a child could forget, so rehearse, role-play, and practice what your child should do.

Remind your children that predators don't necessarily look scary or strange. A dangerous person could look like the person next door, or even be someone they know.

http://drphil.com/articles/article/265






PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM INTERNET PEDOPHILES


One in four children in chat rooms on the Internet will be solicited by a child predator. These pedophiles seek a target-rich environment for finding their prey, and the Internet has become their flocking ground. To insure that your children and household are safe from the threat of these predators, consider these tips from Detective James Brown, officer in charge of the LAPD's Sexually Exploited Child Unit.

Never, ever leave your child alone in a room with a computer connected to the Internet.
Any Internet-connected computer should be in the community part of the house. It should only be used when parents are home and monitoring their children's activity on the computer. Think about it like this; Would you ever let a stranger go up to your child's room and talk to them alone for four hours? Would you ever leave your child alone in a park and come back four hours later? It is a myth that a child on a computer at home is safe. At the least, they may be exposed to sexually explicit materials, and at the worst, they can be lured by an Internet pedophile.

Parents should educate themselves on basic computer knowledge.
Parents should be the ones to set up all Internet accounts and passwords. Make sure you know your child's account name and password. You should also be aware if any other e-mail accounts your child may have. Take the time to learn about Internet filters, firewalls, monitoring software and other tools. Use your browser history, cache and cookies to find out what sites your kids have been visiting. Enter their names, including nicknames, into popular search engines to see if they have public profiles on social networking sites. Do the same with your address and phone number. You might be surprised by how much of your personal information is online!

Locking certain computer sites doesn't work.
Computer filters don't work for chat rooms, and there are no blocks for the chat rooms. There is software to monitor a child's activity, but not their chat activity.

Be aware.
Parents should be cautious if a child suddenly closes a browser window on the computer when the parent enters the room, or if the child doesn't want the parent to see what they are working on. If the parent questions what the child is looking at, they should go to the computer and click the back button on the tool bar or lean over and look closely at the computer screen. Parents should also be aware of pictures coming in over the computer.

Never, ever give out personal information over the Internet.
This is a good practice for both children and parents. It makes it easy for people to find out about you if you have provided them with any personal information. If you have to give some information, only give your state identification. Never give out your city, birthday, name, or school you attend.

Children should never upload a picture of themselves to the Internet.
They should also never e-mail a picture to this new person. Once the picture leaves your computer you have lost control of what can be done with the picture. A predator can do anything they want with it.

Make sure you have open lines of communication with your children.
Oftentimes kids are communicating with strangers because there is no communication in the house. Have open discussions with your children so they feel comfortable talking with you. They should know that if they receive material that bothers them or is inappropriate, they should bring it to their parent's attention so it can be reported to local law enforcement. They need to feel comfortable doing this.

Many times children feel they did something wrong or something they weren't supposed to do, so they think they will lose computer privileges because of this. It is important for them to know that they can bring it to their parents' attention without getting in trouble.

Parents and children should visit www.netsmarz.org to help start family discussions and conversations. This site is supported by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

If you suspect your child is in trouble, look for these signs:
A child that starts to act differently, withdrawn, getting bad grades or spending a lot of time on the Internet.

Many times children will think they have found their new "best friend," and they believe that this person will rescue them from their doldrums. If gifts start arriving at the home, this should also be a clue that something is not right. If your family starts receiving phone calls from people you don't recognize, this could mean there are serious problems. Either the child gave the predator your phone number, or the predator found it out. This can signify a threat to your child as well as the entire family, especially if the predator knows where you live.

If you suspect your child could be the victim of an Internet pedophile, call your local law enforcement agency. You can also visit www.cybertipline.com, which will direct you to an agency in your area, or www.missingkids.com, which is a national center for missing and exploited children. For more information for you and your child to be safe on the Internet, visit www.netsmartz.org.

http://drphil.com/articles/article/166






CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE RESOURCES

If you suspect your child may have been sexually abused, visit these Web sites to learn the warning signs.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/sexabuse.htm 



American Psychological Association
www.apa.org/releases/sexabuse/

 

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children 
www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=1485

 

Medline Plus
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007224.htm

 

ProtectKids
www.protectkids.com/abuse/abusesigns.htm

 

National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/specific/fs_child_sexual_abuse.html

 

FindCounseling.com 
www.findcounseling.com/journal/child-abuse/sexual-abuse-incest-statistics.html

 

Stop It Now!
www.stopitnow.com/warnings.html

 

ChildLuresPrevention.com
www.childluresprevention.com/index.asp

http://drphil.com/articles/article/496